Tuesday, October 27, 2015

One person can

A quick exercise

Yesterday over a chance conversation someone asked me why I haven’t written in a while. He went on to add, that ‘regardless of anyone reading your posts or not, I always do and will. Please write.’
Hearing that at a time when life is stretched out in all directions was inspiration enough to step out and away from a super tight schedule and make the time to put this out there.

'I value your appreciation and trust that some bonds withstand the tides of time.'
So this one’s for you.

And each of you who connect with his sentiment. Or mine. As both are similarly united in thought.

If you can touch the life of just one person, it’s worth it. Grab the opportunity. This one connection measured against the vastness of the world may seem insignificant to the ambitious, yet to the person whose life you have touched, the significance can be profound. Besides through this one person you've probably had a far greater impact on way more people than you realize.

Think about it. When one person influences another, what happens?
A ripple effect. Over time this one person can actually impact generations to follow.
Here's a quick exercise for you.

Think about all the people who have impacted your life. Teachers, employees, coworkers, managers, customers, family or friends. Make a list. If too many come to mind, start with ten at a time. Let them know how they played a small or big part in influencing your life. Just sharing your experiences and insights may positively impact their current circumstances. Who knows? It may be just what they need to hear at this point of time in their life. Trust me; it's far more generous than any material gift of gratitude you can ever give.

Sooner or later you will have the same act of kindness reciprocated. Life always comes full circle. Like a boomerang. An echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get.

All it takes is one gesture. One person. One moment at a time.

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla to know how Life Coaching works best for you.

Click here for more articles on self-improvement http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Self%

Friday, October 2, 2015

Love is like that

3 lessons to remember in unrequited love  

 Do you have that one love which still burns silently in the darkest corners of your heart?

Did you give everything you had to someone without making sure they wanted it?

Did you struggle with that one crush that you just could not get over? A feeling that you would have done absolutely anything for them to notice you, talk to you, pay attention to you. When her smile lit up every crack and corner of your heart or when just seeing him gave you a 1000 different species of butterflies in your stomach.

It sounds romantic: To love someone with all of your heart and soul, whether or not they love you back. After all love asks for nothing in return. True that. But dealing with reality is different. Every day, every moment the pain of loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you can be almost unbearable. It certainly doesn’t feel romantic. The feeling of finding out you mean nothing to the person who means everything to you is devastating. Dealing with unrequited love is a lot like getting over a break up, except there is no love story that started it all. In that sense it feels more miserable pining over something you never had in the first place.

Undoubtedly infatuation, longing, and love can be agonizing when they remain un-reciprocated. However one can work towards letting go and learning through the process of healing. 

Here are 3 lessons to remember whilst doing just that.

Accept Acceptance

What you had was NOT a relationship. It was not meant to be. Accepting the reality of the situation may be the most important and biggest step you can take when dealing with unrequited love. It is important to keep in mind that someone’s lack of returned affection does not mean you are a bad person, unattractive or unworthy of love. It simply means they were/are just not interested in you in that way. It may not have anything to do with you. It could be a matter of where they are in life. 
Their circumstances, bad remnants of their history, or a sheer lack of chemistry. Who knows? Anyone who cannot recognize your worth and how awesome you are doesn’t deserve YOU. Poof! Be gone! Let go of that person and move on. However to do that, you have to accept the situation as it is — you love him/her and they don’t love you. This lesson in life stings a little. You may even shed a few (far too many) tears, but if you can take this first step you are well on the way to greener pastures.

Besides how often have you looked back on life and thanked God for having something not work out for you — only to be redirected to something better. Trust Him.

Give up the quest for closure

When you get heart broken, there’s one thing that tends to obsess you: Getting closure. How many times did you use that excuse to make that last call. The last text or email. That one more last time. Everyone agrees that one of the hardest parts of unrequited love is accepting that it is not ever going to be what you want it to be. You may keep looking for evidence that it’s over for you, but what you could be really looking for is proof that it could (still) happen.

Closure — that thing that promises to tie up your relationship in a big bow and explain it all. Does it?

Can you ever really find closure in what he or she says? Closure is a state of mind. Your state of mind. No one can give you closure.

It is the gift you must give to yourself.

Live for love in this moment

Indeed, unrequited love is still love. A little one-sided, maybe, but that doesn’t mean you felt less or that you weren’t entitled to feel what you felt. The truth is, sometimes love hurts. A lot. That’s okay though; that’s how we learn.

Know that, that was then and this is now. 

Things happen, people change. So do circumstances. Maybe you’re single or married today; regardless you have no more reason left to yearn for the idea of someone that once was. Getting over someone who didn’t love you back doesn’t only create more space in your heart for someone who does/will love you now, but also allows you to learn to love yourself enough first.

For love takes many forms. It is exquisitely elusive. Yet always present. Always here. Always there.

Love is falling head over heels. Drowning. Deep. And then; time stands still.

Love is like that.

Love is picking yourself up. Patting yourself dry. And then; time to move on.

Yes. Love is like that too.
Are you heart broken? Unable to overcome a toxic relationship? Do you wish to find true love? Contact Life Coach Tasneem Kagalwalla to know more on how relationship coaching can best help you love yourself and find your true soul mate.
Click here for more articles on self-improvement http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Self%20Improvement

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Dawn of Love

A Poem


I walked on my fingers
And clicked on my toes
I started the door
And opened the engine
I revved up my soul
And hummed the accelerator
I parked my keys
And pocketed my ear
I climbed the door
And shut the stairs
I washed my clothes
And changed my face
I brushed my shoes
And took off my teeth
I pulled down my pillows
And fluffed my sheets
I blew out my bed
And climbed into the light
And all because
He kissed me goodnight.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

One important reminder


Yesterday I made 5 new friends, cooked up my family’s favorite meal using #anewrecipe, got a rave review from a client; #feelingsograteful and later in the evening I clicked a #feelingexcited selfie whilst going for #dinnerwithmybestie.

That’s what my Facebook Timeline would look like, should I choose to post this picture and all of these good things about my day. And that’s surely not a bad thing. Sharing the positive updates of my life seems like a great thing to do.
However that’s not my only truth…

Today I woke up late, feeling extremely low for some reason. Moods, hormones or was it that persistently nagging family problem; Sigh! Who knows? Had no time to figure it out as I hurriedly got myself ready and prepared for a Google hangout session where I made 5 new friends. On the way home I ran errands and completed an endless list of odd chores looking like a ‘crazed lady from hell on wheels’, only to come home and cook up a quick meal with a new recipe which Tarla Dalal promised was easy yet equally tasty. Just when I thought I could grab a quick bite to eat, I realized it was time for my client’s session. She expressed genuine appreciation on making constructive progress and I was feeling so grateful to be able to make a difference in her life. Later that evening, I was this close to cancelling dinner plans but I dragged myself to have dinner with my bestie assuming that some company would help shake off this melancholy feeling I woke up with, which like a silent stalker just hung around in the background all day.
This is my real truth.

Often times, we mistake people’s reel life with their reality. Couple of filters down, anyone can look just the way they choose to. I can too. So can you. I can even edit and re-edit my moments of my life as many times as I want, an opportunity real life does not give you. A rewind or fast forward button, now wouldn’t that be helpful on certain days. However in this journey of life, the only constant is change and we try to make the most of our situations. The fact then is that we are all human, no one’s perfect. And neither are our lives. We all have our highs and lows, we all wear our crowns with pride and carry our crosses with grace.

Today; social media allows you to exhibit all the amazing things that are happening in your life. And that’s fine. Provided it’s viewed in the right spirit. Your status updates are a great way to remember just how blessed and exciting your life truly is. Like a ‘Gratitude Journal.’ And even if you’ve shared the lows and difficult things that have happened, marvel at how far you’ve come since; how you made it through. Keep the focus on your story.
One important reminder; don’t compare someone else’s high light reel with your behind the scenes footage. Equating your life to your friends “perfect” life is pointless. For your life is not just what it looks like on FB, Twitter or Instagram. Neither is mine. It’s so much more…

Alright then; gotta go. I’m signing out. Life is calling...


Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for personal development and support in overcoming personal or professional challenges.

Click here for more articles on self-improvement http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Self%20Improvement

Monday, August 17, 2015

3 ‘must haves’ in friendship

My Best Friend n I

In spite of having lived most of my life across different cultures and countries, my friends, old and new have always remained close to my heart and fortunately distance has not diminished the bond we share. They remain, to date - the grounded inner circle when life’s out of control, the integral to the peripheral, those very special ones I (can) rely on morning, noon or night.

But this one friend stands out. Stands apart. This one friend knows my every move. Every thought; sometimes before I think it. Really understands my feelings without having to explain them. Like a sixth sense. A telepathy which happens almost magically. This friend just knows; my every secret, my every heart break, my insecurities and worries, my achievements and my dreams… we share it all.
Truly then, this is a friend for keeps. United in thought, we love, care and support each other like no other. And luckily, luck has nothing to do with it. My best friend and I have worked very hard to come to this place of safe comfort and trust. Now; we are one.

If you’re wondering who this best friend is. Let me tell you without much further ado.
It’s me. I am my own best friend.

“I am the one who dries her tears and listens to her sorrows. I am the one who wakes up in the middle of the night and laments with her over past regrets.

I’m the one who tells her she’s beautiful and supports her passions and innermost desires. I am the one who follows her blindly down undiscovered roads and keeps her company when no one’s around. I am the one who buys her surprises and spoils her silly. I’m her true best friend.” 

Being your own best friend is an important part of self-improvement. It allows you to grow and evolve as a better person. It empowers you to achieve more whilst being comfortable in your own skin. 

So here are 3 fundamental must haves you will need to practice in order to walk that journey of befriending yourself. 

Cut yourself some slack.
Do you expect your best friend to be perfect? Do you punish your good friend with an onslaught of verbal criticism for hours? I doubt that. A true friend accepts both the good and bad in you without passing judgement. They realize that no one is perfect. If your best friend/s is going through a rough time you don’t tell him/her, what a loser he/she is, how miserably messed up they are or how things will never change for them. Instead you are encouraging, motivating and empathetic. You say things like, ‘don’t worry, this too will pass’ or ‘that’s ok, you did your best.’ You try to help them, cheer them up, sometimes by taking the time to give their story a positive spin and point them towards the direction of renewed hope and gratitude.

Be that friend to yourself first.

Rule of thumb: If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, don't say it to yourself.

Make yourself feel special.
A best friend goes out of his/her way to make you feel special. Shares honest appreciation. Celebrates your victories with you. For you. They’ll wish you the best and in general go out of their way to make you feel like you’re a superstar. Together you have a blast.

Think about it. When most of us think of enjoying ourselves, we usually equate it with other human contact. However, going to the movies, joining interest groups, booking a table at a favorite restaurant, a nice warm bath, a delicious smoothie ... there are many things we can treat ourselves to each day.  We just need to take the time and put the effort into doing them. 

Try developing an enjoyable interest that you can pursue alone. Doing so will help to deepen your bond with yourself.

Rule of thumb: If you do it with/for a best friend; do it for yourself too.

Love yourself unconditionally.
In true friendship, unconditional love develops. You love your best friend no matter what and will always want the best for him/her. However when it comes to yourself, there are limitations. You’ll love yourself when you get to your ideal weight, get the dream job or home or worse still you’ll only love yourself when you find someone who loves you.
Instead of supporting yourself, you often drown your grievances by indulging in food and other addictions including self-pity and other self-destructive behaviors. Learning how to face our barriers, instead of escaping from them, is one of the most essential (albeit a tad difficult) way of developing self-love. 
Try this as a head start to treating yourself more kindly. Take time out (e.g. whenever you wake up or go to sleep), to say nice things to yourself. Sounds cheesy, but it's a proven way to boost self-worth and happiness. Effective self-talk examples could include: "I forgive myself", "I let go of my past", "I treat my body well", "I love being myself", etc.
Learn to value and respect yourself.
Rule of thumb: If you love your best friend; love yourself first.
Go ahead. Be your own best friend. And then someday; your best friend and my best friend can be best friends too.

Tasneem Kagalwalla for personal development and support in overcoming personal or professional challenges.
Click here for more articles on self-improvement http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Self%20Improvement

Thursday, August 6, 2015

The shortest and most effective visualization

A romantic story

The magical effects of visualizations has been a subject close to my heart as it has proven to bring about so many positive changes and outcomes in my life. My husband being one of them. (Read all about that @ http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2015/05/how-i-attracted-my-ideal-partner-in-3.html )
For many years I have been regularly spending time with creating customized visualizations for myself and my clients as well as listening to so many other empowering ones available from contemporaries and experts in my line of work.

It has become my habit consequently to usually drift off to sleep listening to a guided visualization every night. It soothes the days stress away, calms and refreshes the mind and body thus allowing a peaceful night in. It’s a perfect addition to your bedtime routine.

One cold night after a long day I stumbled into bed ready to plug in and switch off for the night. Just when I got comfy under the sheets, having plugged in the headphones into my mobile I realized that my phone battery had died. Damn. Complete bummer. The thought of getting out of bed and getting my IPad which would well serve the same purpose was too cumbersome. I was just too comfy to make that effort. So I playfully rolled over to my husband and asked him to guide me through his version of a visualization for the night.

Now it’s important here to know a little bit about my husband. Although he has a very emotional and sensitive side to him, mostly he’s a finance guy with a practical head between his shoulders. He is more of a left brained individual, unafraid to call a spade a spade and uses logic and common sense as dependable qualities with which he leads a happy life.
Therefore when he said ok, I was totally taken aback. Very keen to know how this one is going to turn out, I closed my eyes and tried to keep an open mind. I was expecting either a rational explanation on the benefits of sleeping or a guided visualization which would have me guiding myself out of it after. However I was completely wrong and pleasantly surprised. Not only was he articulate with his choice of words and affirmations but vivid in his descriptions. I was on the silver beaches of the Caribbean that night and it was blissfully tranquil. Sweet dreams are made of these.

Over the years it became a norm and often I’d ask him to talk me off to sleep. Each time, I’d ask; “Where am I today?” eager to go on yet another soul journey. I have travelled far and wide as a result, visited several beautiful locations and known serenity through his eyes. I have felt the cool sand between my toes and have been touched by a soft breeze over a mountain top. I have walked the mesmerizing dessert dunes of Arabia and seen the lush green jungles of Africa.
Haven gotten used to these moments we spent together before bedtime, I looked forward to this quintessential question, every night; “Where am I today?”

Until last night… We got home late. It was well past midnight when we retired to bed. We were tired and I was sensing my husband was in no mood to take me through any visualization imagery. Yet, programmed to ask, rolling over into his outstretched arm, I asked; “Where am I today?”
Pulling me closer he peacefully said; “Right here with me.”

I slept like a baby.

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for your own customized Guided Visualization and/or for more information on how Life Coaching works best for you.

Read more on how to master the art of visualizing @ http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2015/05/how-i-attracted-my-ideal-partner-in-3.html

For more motivational metaphors and true stories click here http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Motivational%20metaphors%2Ftrue%20stories

Thursday, July 30, 2015

3 important reminders when obsessing over what you want

Expect the Un-expected

Have you ever wanted something so bad, worked hard at it relentlessly and yet not got it? Have you given unconditional love hoping so much it would be reciprocated? And it wasn’t. Have you given it all you have, from the very core of your being and still faced failure? After failure. Have you cried hot silent tears? In the bathroom. On your pillow. When bowed in prayer. Have you wailed uncontrollably when the grieving was overwhelming? Or felt a void. A gaping wound which bleeds each and every time a candid remark erodes its scarred surface. Until you fear to hope, lest it’s just an insidious hoax. Unable to hold it together you struggle with drowning in your vulnerable thoughts of helplessness.

If you answered yes to any of the above, then this one’s for you. But first, here’s a hug and a coffee. Now let’s talk.

1. Hope and Faith. They go hand in hand and yet have very different roles to play when dealing with fulfillment of desires. Hope is an expectancy of materializing things the way you envision them; faith is the fuel to that belief. Hope comes with a picture whereas faith has no shape or picture of things to be. It just keeps you safely grounded in the knowing that, it will be. The best for you will come forth.

Learn from Faith then. When you are attached to an outcome, you hope things will happen at a certain time in a certain way – it is your expectation of how things should happen that makes you think that things are not working out. Expectations color your perception of things. You don’t really see how things are unfolding when you want them to happen a certain way. This prevents you from recognizing the good that comes your way and causes you to push it away. As it just does not fit with the way you imagine it. Without preconceived ideas to limit your perception, you are able to accept what comes your way as part of the solution to realizing what you truly desire in life.

In future if you lose hope, remember to keep the faith. It will re-ignite your courage in time and allow you to bounce back. 

2. Start taking one day at a time. Live in the present. Your deepest longings forever push you to look ahead, mentally entrapping you in the future. Like a chess player you’re always thinking 8 moves out –what should I do, what if that doesn’t work out, what’s next. You create much of your own suffering by getting caught in an endless cycle of pining and attachment. You are living a conditional life; you cannot be free in the present moment. You cannot be happy with a beautiful sunset or with a moment of warmth between you and another; instead, every experience is interpreted in the context of how much better it would be in an expected future.  

Instead keep it simple. Breathe. If you’re feeling overwhelmed because you want something too much, then do something else to distract yourself. Get involved in other things that are also important to you. Things that come 2nd and 3rd on your list of wants. What can I have right now? What can I do right now? Stay in the moment, see your decision right now as the best decision you can make in the moment. What happens next – how it turns out– doesn’t matter. Focus on right here. Right now. 

3. Detach. ‘You only lose what you cling to,’ says Buddha. Break free, let loose that which you desire the most. There’s a story about a monkey who comes across a trap in the forest. He can see a coconut inside. He’s hungry and so he puts his hand through a small hole to get at it. He grips onto the coconut, which he really wants to eat, but while he’s holding the coconut he can’t pull his hand free. If he only opened his hand again, he could escape, but clinging to what he wants keeps him trapped.  

We can only be deeply affected by loss when we are clinging on too tightly to something. Mind you, I’m not saying to stop wanting things. Just stop clinging to them. Clinging is holding on to something too tightly.  

When you find yourself obsessing about a desire, ask yourself. Why is it so important? What are you afraid might happen if you don’t get it? Would it really be the end of the world? 

For when you really think about it; have you ever lost out on something or someone only to be redirected to something better? Have new windows of opportunity opened just when you stopped knocking on the old closed doors. Are you eternally grateful to have something not work out for you as you had planned only because what you received instead was so much better?  

God is able to do above and beyond all that you can ask and even think of. Surrender; know that good things will come to you when the time and place is right. You will get what you need, just may not be the exact way you want it. In that sense, expect the unexpected. 

And Thank God for that. For He knows best. 


Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla to seek support and overcome personal and professional blocks and barriers.

Click here for more articles on self-improvement http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Self%20Improvement

Friday, June 26, 2015

After happily ever after…

3 ways to achieve your ‘happy family’ goals

Some time back in June 2015 I dragged my husband for a Bollywood film, ‘Dil Dhadakne Do.’ (Let your heart beat) He’s not much of a movie buff whereas the 70 mm screen n I are best friends. It was a glamorous movie about a wealthy family on a voyage of self-discovery. The movie deals with the importance of marital + family bonds and how relationships suffer when communication takes a back seat. The film revolves round the classy elite and the universally common challenges and problems they face.

Unfulfilled relationships, troubled marriages, self-image and esteem issues result in fractured families which progressively soil the collar of a household. They go about doing their job, looking clean and pristine for everyone on the outside but when you turn it over, the dirt and grime are just sitting there eating into the weave of the domestic fabric.Many personal hardships and hurdles later, one or more of the family members decide to do something about it. This typically is when a Life Coach (ahem! ahem!) would be asked to enter the story line.

Thank you. Having made my two cents worth of a sales pitch let’s move on.

There are three central characters in the film who play a small and/or big part in giving this family its breakthrough moment. That aha moment of realization. When what you stand to gain (peace of mind, love, trust, support, loyalty, happiness, reliability, honesty, etc.) is far greater than what you stand to lose (ego, pride, bitterness, reputation/image, societal acceptance, approval, etc.)

This is where most movies end… the perfect happy ending.

However here is only where the reel ends. The real work begins then. (Aka; pichar abhi baki hain mere dost.)

Fixing a damaged husband and wife relationship takes much effort from both parties, to say the least. Dealing with divorce and renewing your identity and individuality is often times a hard upward climb. Washing out your dirty laundry is a process. Much like when you switch on the washing machine; you now need to go through the cycle.

This is when you need the most help. To stay grounded. Stay committed. Stay motivated. Stay with it till you achieve what you’ve set out to overcome.

Here then are three ways to achieve your happy family outcomes. These will give you a positive head start in the right direction.

Let go.

Most important. Get everything out on the table. All your feelings, hurt, pain, sadness, frustration, anger… whatever it may be. The good, the bad, the ugly. Speak your truth and then forever let it go. Start your ‘let’s fix this’ journey on a clean slate. If you continue to harbor negative feelings towards each other you won’t get far before all that you’ve shoved under the carpet will resurface at the next slightest hiccup you may face.

Ask for forgiveness. Repeatedly if required. Thereafter always remember that you are all different individuals; regret/repentance may not come to you in the exact package you desire. That doesn’t mean they don’t mean it. Have a heart. Let off. Your conscience is a good judge to decipher if your partner/family member is making a genuine effort.

Forgive the past. Remember the lessons though.


How can I stress this enough?! C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E. Does this help?

Talk to each other. Really listen to what the other has to say. Make time to spend time together. There may be setbacks; stick with it. Give time time. Pay attention. Give attention. Share your worries. Appreciate your triumphs. Hug each other when you agree and disagree.

Communication (verbal and non-verbal) within the family is extremely important because it enables members to express their needs, wants, and concerns to each other. Open and honest communication creates an atmosphere that allows family members to express their differences as well as love and admire one another.

Set short term goals.

Not all of us can see the big picture from Day 1. It just seems too far away. Unattainable from such a distance.

Instead go as far as you can see; when you get there you will see further.

Therefore set short term goals. One week, a fortnight or one month… what will you do differently in this period of time to see the results you desire?

A good way to do this is to imagine your ideal relationship on a scale of 1–10 with 10 being the most ideal. Where are you at now? Say 2? Together decide on a number which best describes your current status. Now ask one another what we can do for each other over the next one month to move from 2 to 3. Get creative here. Based on the problem you wish to overcome come up with interesting and innovative things to do for and with each other. For example a family that has had no time for each other could decide to eat one meal a day together (without cell phones or TV) or a couple that has lost their spark could surprise each other with something special be it cuddling in with a movie, a hand written love letter or a romantic dinner.

You know best what makes you and your significant other happy in your relationship/family. If you don’t; communicate. Ask. Constantly endeavor to keep the relationship alive.

Eventually on the way home from the film my husband asked, “So what happens after the happily ever after?”

With a gleeful smile I replied; “That’s a surprise. Wait till we get home. You’ll love it.”


Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla on how Family/Relationship Coaching and Couples Therapy works best for you.

Click here for more articles on self-improvement http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Self%20Improvement

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A snapshot of my line of work

So; WHAT do YOU do?

I have been asked this question often which compels me to elaborate on what I do do.

People think I’m a face reader, or into palmistry, some asked if I’m a psychic, or a medium? Yet others were confused with what a Life Coach does? So you’re like a psychiatrist? A counsellor? They ask. When I went on to explain that I help individuals realize their dreams; they assumed; Aah! So you’re like an astrologer.
So here’s the truth.

I’m intuitive though not a psychic or medium. I have never studied Palmistry, neither am I a face reader, surely not an astrologer. Psychiatry and counseling work are close to my field of expertise, yet the premises under which these practices (co)exist are rather different.
I am a Life Coach and Mental Health Wellness Practitioner; the first ABNLP certified Master Practitioner and Trainer in the state of Texas, USA.

Founder of Personal Soul-utions, I work with different age groups offering personal or online sessions across a range of services that you can work with in order to overcome obstacles and realize your personal or professional goals. 15 years of coaching experience allow me to provide practical techniques ensuring complete synergy of the conscious and subconscious mind which have proven to dramatically increase success rates.
This is achieved by using one or a combination of the following modalities. All the techniques I use whilst coaching or training are based on the very best and most reliable methods with cutting edge relevant and creative content. NLP which is a scientific study of proven learning, behavior and change techniques is the foundation of all my coaching and training interventions. My website, blog and/or the net is a valuable resource to learn more on each of the below.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

All of the above (besides Tarot Reading) fall broadly under the banner of alternative therapy. These are recognized and verified methodologies and processes which reinforce the mind- body connection of human functioning. Each have their own unique principles and act as powerful tools to overcome unwanted negative emotions, limiting beliefs, low self-esteem, phobias, trauma, childhood suffering, career upsets, relationship troubles… the list is endless. When we work together, I utilize the knowledge of how our brains form habits and patterns of behavior for your advantage. The people I work with often see big changes occur very rapidly from this approach. Generally it takes only a few sessions before you are past your hurdles and well on your way. I specialize in relationship/family coaching and couples therapy. 

Workshops / Breakthrough Events / Training: Training individuals and teams has touched many lives, including mine. Years of working in the field of learning and development has ensured that individuals leave my workshops, events and training sessions with renewed knowledge and skills which significantly add value to their personal and/or professional life. My reservoir of methods treat and train both facets of the mind - the conscious and subconscious which allow the individual/team to learn and implement change swiftly. Enhanced performance and productivity is thereby achieved in the real world whilst creating huge shifts in their overall well-being. This leads to self-assured successful individuals or empowered teams and triumphant organizations. Most preferred training programs include Effective Leadership, Communication, Stress Management, Customer Service and Team Building modules. Nuero Linguistic Programming (NLP) which is a scientific study of proven learning, behavior and change techniques is the foundation of all my training programs.

Tarot cards are not magic and I am not a fortune teller. In most people minds, a Tarot card Reading means a woman with a crystal ball and a crushed velvet dress leaning over a small table in a dimly lit room, foretelling impending doom. But that’s not what Tarot cards are all about, they’re not even really meant to tell your fortune or future. So don’t worry; I’m not here to help you find your spirit animal on the seventh astral plane or anything like that. (No offence to those who do.) Tarot to me is an innate coaching tool which guides us; the cards offer insights to ourselves and our situations to enable empowered choices. The cards bring forth clarity, providing a clear roadmap of potential challenges and opportunities and how you can navigate these to create your ideal future. The study is based on current circumstances and as those conditions change, so do the outcomes. Please note, you alone are responsible for the choices you make and the actions you take.
Though my clients often say the results are magical; there really is no magic involved. I simply believe you are everything you choose to be.
In conclusion, know that; I have personally tried and tested every theory, therapy and home remedy in my own life before I have incorporated it into my practice. It continues to positively influence me in more ways than one.
I only wish the same for you.

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching, Training and/or Tarot Consultation works best for you.
Click here for more articles on life coaching and therapy http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.in/search/label/Life%20Coaching%2FTherapy



Thursday, May 28, 2015

5 steps to let go of guilt

Do you feel GUILT?

Guilt. Rarely does one small word have such a deep impact on our psyche.

Different people feel guilty for different things based on their values. Some feel guilt over not always being there for their children, partner or parents, saying “no” at work or when taking time out for themselves. There is guilt over past affairs, breaking someone’s heart or handling a situation unfairly. Having an abortion/ miscarriage or having to go back to work leaving your new born at home also leave many of us feeling guilty.

The reasons are varied for which we all carry our own crosses. God will never forgive me, some say. The Universe hates me, others believe. And life goes on until this guilt becomes a tainted part of our existence.
So what is guilt?

Guilt unfortunately is frequently viewed as a virtue, as a high sense of responsibility and morality. To feel guilty is seen as a sign of good character. The truth, however, is that guilt is the greatest destroyer of emotional energy. It leaves you feeling hopeless in the present and regretful in future by something that has already occurred in the past.

Regretful. That’s another important word in this context. What do you mean by regret?
Regret is a negative mental/emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been or wishing we could undo a previous choice that we made. A life that stems out of guilt and regret, often has not much to look forward to. It’s so empty.
Does that mean one should live a guilt free, regretless life without any conscience? No. Understand this. Human beings need to have a conscience. According to the dictionary a conscience is “the sense of right or wrong within the individual.” Without a conscience we would have no qualm about hurting one another, interpersonal relationships of any kind would be extinct and the world would be less safe.
In fact, excessive guilt is one of the biggest destroyers of self-worth, self-confidence and the ability to imagine positive outcomes for yourself. Beating yourself up repeatedly about a previous wrongdoing only serves as a punishment; a kind of self-decaying life sentence which you have decided to give to yourself.
Reflecting on past behavior and learning from it is enlightening. When your conscience tells you that you have done something wrong, it is important to face it, make amends and learn from your mistake. Staying consumed with guilt, however, will keep you from moving forward in a positive and productive way. With determination to resolve and absolve however, many have learned how to avoid taking off on a demeaning guilt trip.
Stay out of this bottomless pit by implementing the following steps:
·         Review the action or event over which you feel guilt. 
·         Was the action appropriate or acceptable under the circumstances? 

·         If so, decide to let go of the situation and refuse to think about it further. Go for a walk, call a friend or become absorbed in something enjoyable. Do anything but rethink the situation.  

·         If your action was inappropriate, is there something you can do to correct it or to make amends? Now take this step and realize you have done all you can to rectify the situation.
If your action was inappropriate and there is nothing you can do to make amends now, then repent. There is a big difference between regret and repent. Repentance; if properly understood is a change of mind--a change of intention from doing that which made you feel ‘guilty’ to not wanting to do it again--that results in a change of action. It involves the decision to make a change of behavior and/or attitude about something. Repentance encourages a heartfelt desire to change. 

·         What have you learned from this experience that will be helpful in the future?
Remember that the past cannot be changed, no matter how you feel about it. Victimizing yourself with excessive guilt will neither alter the past nor make you a better person. By applying the above steps though, you will begin to heal and be a better person as a result.
In the end, know that; God is great. So merciful. The Universe; a pure reflection of your spirit. The question then is not if God and the Universe have forgiven you. The question is; Have you?

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla on how Time Line Therapy™ and Hypnotherapy helps you to overcome guilt and other limiting beliefs or negative emotions.
Click here for more articles on self-improvement http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Self%20Improvement