Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts

Thursday, April 16, 2015

5 questions to assess your success

Success re-framed

Success means different things at various phases of our lives. To many, success is monetary wealth, achieving financial independence and prosperity. In truth though, learning to walk after repeatedly falling is success to a kid. Growing up, passing exams is success. Your first job, first relationship is a successful start. Positive life choices, being respected by peers and colleagues alike is a sign of success. Later, getting married, starting a family, making that marriage work, devoting time and attention to the family/kids in those crucial years; all denote success.

What this implies then is that success is a relative term. It is forever evolving. Changing as our lives grow and transform.

Financial prosperity alone does not necessarily mean one is successful. If anything it means that one is just wealthy but one's successful life is not complete. On the other hand, it is possible to have a successful life without being wealthy. 

Recently I posted a quote bearing the same title - Success re-framed. Maya Angelou beautifully defined success as liking yourself, liking what you do and how you do it. (https://www.facebook.com/PersonalSoulutions/)

This compelled me to bring to your attention the fact that the quote is written in the present tense. Liking yourself for what you are today, what you do now and how you do it in this moment.

When I relocated to the Unites States in 2012 it was overwhelming. I felt inadequate without the job and friends I was used to. Previously life was action packed, I had just been promoted and was looking forward to the added responsibilities that came with the perks. Here in the US though, life was different. I got busy with setting up home, getting to know new people and places, launching my life coaching and training company and so much more…yet for a while I didn't see that as ‘success.’

Until one day, an acquaintance casually mentioned, you've done so much in a span of a year, it’s commendable. You should be very proud of yourself. 

There in that moment I realized that unconsciously I had recreated success. Yet consciously I was caught up chasing success as I knew it; only liking what I was, what I did and how I did it.

And if by any chance any of you are caught up in that same bubble, here are 5 questions which will help burst the unwanted illusion and gracefully carry you to the wonderful reality of your existence, encouraging you to realign your parameters of success and reinvent yourself, right here, right now.
  1. What are your priorities at present?
  2. What is the successful outcome you desire today?
  3. What’s stopping you?
  4. What can you do more of?
  5. How would you know that you've achieved your outcome? What would you see, hear, feel or notice?           
For eventually what is success? Success is a constantly evolving process, not a fixed place.

Do enjoy the process.

What does success mean to you? Do you wish to be more successful? Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching works best to realize and achieve your personal or professional goals.

Click here for more articles on self improvement: http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/search/label/Self%20Improvement




Friday, October 24, 2014

Do you believe a Life Coach or Therapist will fix you?

Life Coaching/Therapy Myth # 2


You are driving down the highway and all of a sudden your car stalls and swerves. You struggle to keep control and just about manage to get the car to come to a grinding halt. Yikes! Something is wrong with your car.

What’s next? When there is a problem with your car, you take it to a mechanic to get it fixed. You take it to an expert.
What about when you are feeling unwell? You go to the experts; therapists. But you are not a car and you cannot be fixed.
For therapy to work, you need to be an active participant, bringing your expertise about what life is like for you. The best solutions and insights will come from you, with the therapist acting more like a skilled and knowledgeable facilitator, guiding the process. Therapists do not fix you and they do not tell you what to do, how to walk, talk, think, and feel. And thank heavens for that! Can you imagine being dependent on a therapist to tell you how to live?
MYTH: Therapists are experts. They will fix me.

FACT: If only this were true! A qualified therapist is there to guide you through your challenges and therapy is an experience where you can feel relieved that you are not alone with your problems, there is a qualified and proficient individual who is there to guide and direct you to success.
Working with a therapist can be compared to working with a physical trainer. Although a trainer can provide an inspirational structure for change, helping the client to identify specific goals and suggest a regime to achieve them, it is always up to the client to make use of the tools provided.
Therapy can be similarly overwhelming at first. Initially you may not even notice the results. You wonder when you will see the new changed you. It is common to feel a bit worse before you feel better, but if you stick with the process, let go of old habits, and rework some perceptions, soon enough you have your mind and body functioning better than ever.
Therapy does require you to work and does not always provide an immediate sense of relief. You may confront feelings, thoughts, memories or personal insights that are uncomfortable, even painful. These experiences result in you wanting to make changes in your beliefs, values, habits or behaviours that may make you uncomfortable at first.  Yet with time and effort they will result in a happier healthier you.
In that sense therapy is a lot of hard work—a process more akin to going to the gym than going to the spa.
Ultimately the responsibility for change rests with you. The therapist will not provide you with a psychological blueprint of who you are. The therapist’s role is to provide a safe and comfortable environment along with a trusting relationship where questions can be addressed. Therapists will not often give advice, but rather, help you to understand the conflicts within you that make it difficult for you to make your own decisions. Of course there are a-ha moments and revelations during sessions, but for change to really happen and last, the majority of the work happens between (and after) sessions. With your therapist’s help, you work towards your goals, decide on a plan for growth and change, and then practice the new behaviors not only during the sessions but most importantly out in the real world.
In the long run, the goals of therapy are for people to develop more awareness, gain more self-insight, and make the most of their strengths and abilities thereby creating a new compelling future ahead.
People like:

• Taasha made the big move – quit her job and relocated across continents to move forward with the relationship of her dreams.
• Sarah is using the tools and techniques that she learned to close deals in her new Sales Manager role.
• Neil left a successful career with the aviation industry to follow his passion and is now a successful fashion photographer.
You could be next!