Life Coaching or Therapy is a pseudo-science, all mumbo jumbo!

Life Coaching/Therapy Myth #3

Imagine this. You’ve lost your job and your career seems to be going nowhere. Your finances are a serious worry and the daily charades of life seem to wear you out. Your relationship status stands at messed up and you are up close and personal with an identity crisis. Mental health challenges have manifested into physical ailments. Depressed and anxious you struggle to stand strong against these extremely trying times. You seem to have tried it all; fought your illness with medications and your mind with will power. You even prayed every day for God to relent and cut you some slack. Yet you just cannot get a grip on things and like bone china you seem to be slowly crumbling apart.

MYTH: Life coaching and Therapy is a pseudo-science, all mumbo-jumbo!

FACT: Now hopefully (and thankfully) you may or may not be going through all of the above all at the same time, however take one or a combination of any two and you still have a pretty hard battle ahead. At such a point of time someone you know directs you to – a Life Coach; a Therapist.

Desperate for a resurrection you eagerly listen, go through several testimonials and then - wait a minute; you stop dead in your tracks. Why? Because you wonder, you are terribly concerned and you absolutely have to know if life coaching/therapy is a pseudo-science before giving it a shot. Seriously, do you really need scientific evidence to convince yourself to take a chance at success?

No, I hear you say. 

Then what is that which is truly stopping you? Are you afraid of trying all over again? Are you scared to commit to your success after a series of bouts with failure? Are you overwhelmed by the diversity of practitioners out there? How do you go about finding a reliable life coach/therapist?  Are you skeptical of the financial and emotional investment? These would be more appropriate questions. For honestly having been there, done that myself the last thing on my mind was the placebo effect or any such scientific predicament. It was instead lack of clarity on the above. So I took the first step. The decision to do it. The rest followed suit with the help of some dedicated research on available life coaches in my area, holistic practitioners and their references.

Having said that it’s ok to be concerned about the subject, after all it has the possibility to bring about great results. Often people think that life coaches or therapists choose to disregard science and instead like to think of it as an art. But this common critique of the profession is filled with misunderstandings and errors that lead people away from a deeper understanding of the complexities that exist in the development and delivery of evidence-based mental-health care. Let’s take a look at some reasons why individuals often do not receive coaching/therapy based solely on what science says to do.

Truth and Science:

Let’s talk about what science is not. Science is not the same as truth. Science is just a method that moves us towards the truth. The amount of effective interventions we have yet to uncover through research will eventually dwarf what we have figured out thus far. Therefore it would be safe to conclude that scientific studies that do exist are full of limitations and likelihood that what is currently termed as a pseudo-science be proved as a scientific cure/breakthrough at a later date.

Generalizations and Science:

We all know that science generalizes in order to conclude. The problem with research studies is that they isolate various mental health issues whilst weighing them against a sizable randomized norm so as to come to an evidence-based conclusion. However how often are two people alike? How often are our models of the world identical in nature? Also for example; how often does a person suffer from obesity only, without it being linked to a lack of self-worth or any other limiting belief? What happens when a client approaches a life coach or therapist with multiple issues? Should the life coach explain to the client that while we do have a scientifically proven treatment for obesity, we don’t yet have an evidence-based treatment protocol for combined challenges? Please come back a few decades later? Obviously not. And so we use our expertise to tailor an individualized coaching plan best suited to the client history and current circumstances. Would this be what you refer to as mumbo-jumbo?

Rapport and Science:

We must consider the role of the rapport between client and coach/therapist as a potential variable that influences the outcomes of coaching and therapy. Surely that’s not the only thing that’s needed. No coach/therapist is sitting around sipping iced tea and making friendship bands with their clients. But a good therapeutic relationship is necessary and a key ingredient that helps people succeed. A skilled coach or therapist can help create a safe and comfortable environment to rebuild one’s capacity to overcome and triumph. I wonder if we’ll ever be able to measure how the client-coach/therapist rapport contributes to the healing process. I hope we do but what if we don’t? Does that mean it’s therefore not part of what makes coaching and therapy useful?

In conclusion; evidence-based treatments are absolutely the backbone of what coaches and practitioners should be using to help people. It is great to know that various colleagues in academia continue to work tirelessly to find evidence-based treatments for those seeking help. We need those scientists working for us all, and science will certainly contribute to our deepening understanding of psychological function and dysfunction. But right now, let’s admit it; we just don’t have all the answers...as yet.

And so for now I will continue to work tirelessly to help individuals, using everything I have in my arsenal. That includes evidence-based practices, knowledge, skill, empathy and staying committed with those, fully aware that we perhaps don’t have all the answers but continue to have the conviction and faith that together we will surely move towards wellness and growth.

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching works best for you.

www.tasneemkagalwalla.com

Click here for Therapy Myth #2 http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2014/10/therapy-myth-2.html

Click here for Therapy Myth #1 http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2014_09_01_archive.html

Life CoachingwellnessTherapycoachmental health challenges

I Hope

8 ways to go from hopeless to hopeful

We’ve all been there. Swinging the seesaw of hope. We’ve experienced the highs of feeling full of anticipation, brimming with confidence, optimistic about the path ahead, encouraged to achieve in spite of adversities. After all; there’s hope!

And we’ve seen days (if not more) of feeling low and miserable, seeing no light at the end of the tunnel, forlorn and lost, we despair; desperate we trust our fractured souls to any ray of hope!

Hope then is like the weave to the fabric of our existence. The quintessential thread that holds us together. Having hope is like taking your next breath; breathing. Without hope; would it be fair to say that we essentially lose motivation, direction or even the will to survive?

Wouldn’t it be ideal if we never had to struggle with the hope-less days and forever remain positively charged? Always be hope-full.

Spirituality, Faith in a Higher Power, Trust in yourself, Belief that everything happens for the best… these are a few of the likely answers and (to each heir own) rightly so. Hope then is intangible, it needs to be felt. It’s a feeling. And luckily a feeling can be evoked.

Like a song that makes you sentimental, an old perfume that makes you nostalgic or a photograph that brings forth happy memories.

So how do you evoke hope?

Here are some ways to do just that.

• Ask yourself, "Are hope and possibilities through faith related things?”

If you answered "Yes," then focus on how to improve your possibilities and the faith to believe. What do you believe in and why? How can working on that make you stronger?

If your answer was "No," figure out the difference between the two – hope and possibilities. That may help you understand how to best use your faith to have hope and see possibilities.

• Look at the people around you. You can learn plenty from them.

Observe those that are making progress toward their goals, are centered, happy and optimistic -- do they do possibility thinking?

• Imagine waking up fresh every morning, truly feel hopeful. That is possibility thinking. Make time every day to imagine the day going well as you work to continue making progress toward possibilities. 
• Get training or coaching/counseling. Sometimes this needs a sincere commitment towards change and can be time consuming. Stay determined to improve. 
• Decide to take it as it comes... accept life events and work with them. Living in denial blocks hope. 
• Take risks, make shifts in your lifestyle if that seems like the way to make progress. 
• Redesign, rebuild -- a little at a time or start afresh, but don't you quit. 
• Relax and be refreshed; meditate/pray and find time for recreation to be able to keep going forward.

Most importantly; pause long enough to realize you probably already possess a seed of hope -- even if you don't realize it! You either feel hope – less or hope- full. Regardless of both eventualities; hope exists.

Look within – hope only needs to be evoked.

Notes from my desk:

Hope has been recognized as an important and central element of healing, and has been known by many other names, including optimism, the placebo effect, self-efficacy, and positive expectancies. A life coach inspires hope during treatment and change. Often equated with the particular promise of a cure, hope is better understood in its broader meanings that involve will, way, wish, action, and horizon. This richer and deeper context of hope is a vital perspective for the therapist. Helping clients to find and realize their sources of hope can be a process of waiting together for a clearer vision to emerge. It is important to remember that the task is not one of installing hope as much as evoking it, calling it forth from the client's own resources. In this sense, hope is not given as much as it is found. What therapists can give their clients is, at most, a lens or mirror through which their own vision is clarified.

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching works best for you.

www.tasneemkagalwalla.com

Do you believe seeing a Life Coach or Therapist means you are weak?

Life Coaching/Therapy Myth #1

My journey in the world of self-improvement and therapy began years ago purely based on necessity. It is common for life coaches and therapists to have started out for themselves. It was true for me too.

I didn’t stumble upon it. Eager friends did not introduce it to me over a breezy afternoon. There was no bolt of lightning that struck me in a dream and told me this is what I was meant to do. No!

For me, it was not a magical initiation.

I was going through a rough patch in my life. It was as if I had lost control of how I chose to live. I was remote-controlled by my circumstances, feeling lonely, low, and lost in the maze of life.

Mental health challenges affect millions of people around the world. Unfortunately, misconceptions about therapy not only discourage people from seeking help but also contribute to the stigma surrounding these issues. Many people have a perception of what therapy is that does not quite match up to reality.

What is therapy to you? Is it lying on a couch with a box of issues and paying top dollars to talk to someone who does not seem to quite get it? Or more like a reality TV show where you are openly and publicly blamed and shamed, as you are confronted? If so, please think again. Therapy is not that.

In a myth-busting series to share facts and raise awareness, we will address some of the most common ones. The truth will set you free.

Myth 1# Therapy means I am weak, less of a man/woman, mentally ill or crazy.

Asking for help is not a weakness.

Think of these other scenarios. Are people “weak” when they pay for tuition classes to improve academically? What about when they are sick, maybe with a cough of a cold? Are they weak to see the GP? It is not a weakness to recognize that certain areas of our well-being are less than and we need professional help.

Researchers continue to find new links emphasizing the value of taking equal, if not more, care of mental health to ensure good physical health. This is often referred to as the mind-body health connection.

Emotional challenges can show up as physical symptoms. When we are physically unwell over prolonged periods of time, we may also develop emotional issues. Sadly, having emotional or cognitive concerns is often seen as a moral failing or character flaw.

Men are especially stereotyped, making it harder for them to seek help. Men don’t cry. Men don’t talk about feelings. Men need to have it all figured out.

Seeking help for your problems means you are taking action and being responsible. It is gender-neutral. Asking for help requires more courage than remaining passively stuck. Getting help is actually a sign of resourcefulness and strength.

Many people who seek therapy are “normal” people, people like you and me, suffering from very “normal” everyday life stressors. We all face difficult times, anxiety, and even depression at some point or another. People go to therapy to cope with school, careers, relationships, disorders, stress, and grief or just to figure out who they are and learn to live the life they desire, to live life to the fullest. Sometimes people see therapists to seek an outside perspective of a difficult situation.

Consider this – if therapy did not help better lives significantly, why would top athletes, successful executives, and celebrities have coaches, mentors, and other such professionals? Bottom line is that there is no shame in wanting a better life.

So one day, there I was, reluctantly attending a family get-together. As everyone enthusiastically smiled for the camera, I barely managed a feeble smile. A week later, when a copy of the group photo was mailed to us, I sat there looking at the person in the picture. I was stunned. Is that really me? I could not recognize who I had become. It was then that a small voice in my head said, “You are everything you choose to be.”

I chose that day to salvage myself and reclaim my life. And I did! I learned and tried every new theory, therapy, and home remedy suggested to me. Committed to the journey of self-discovery and improvement, I left no stone unturned. Today, I am here simply asking you this – are you everything you choose to be?

As featured in http://whattherapy.com/therapy-myth-1/

www.tasneemkagalwalla.com