I AM WORTHY

Yes. I got played.
i was nine
i watched my dad
get way out of line
shhh! be quiet, he said
don’t tell mum
it’s our little secret
come here, its fine.

Yes. I got played.
i was ten
my uncle thought
it was ok by then.

Yes. I got played.
i was eleven
he was my brother’s friend
i was used to it by then.

Yes. I got played.
i was twelve
at a school camp
i felt it was my fault by then.

Yes. I got played.
time and again
until i didn’t know
what love actually meant
so when i met him
The One:
who made me feel somewhat sane
i did what i knew best
i jumped straight into bed with him
he said i was fast
he labelled me cheap
i didn’t know what he meant
all I wanted, was to please him.

Years went by;
relationships were just not my scene
all the men went out
just as quickly as they came in.

Until i believed love is not for me
depression came; it drowned me
unworthiness; it found me
desperate i went
where i had long never been
i had to find that child within
before she died, without me.

There she was, frail
with tears that bled
she looked at me and said
why?
why have you always blamed me?
I was not at fault, it was never me.

Trust me; I am worthy.

We both broke down
I said, I am so sorry
I love you, please come hug me
God; He was there then
I could feel Him
He held me…
The whole me.

This one's in voice of the fight against child abuse. It is not an actual account of the author's life.

www.tasneemkagalwalla.com 

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I Hope

8 ways to go from hopeless to hopeful

We’ve all been there. Swinging the seesaw of hope. We’ve experienced the highs of feeling full of anticipation, brimming with confidence, optimistic about the path ahead, encouraged to achieve in spite of adversities. After all; there’s hope!

And we’ve seen days (if not more) of feeling low and miserable, seeing no light at the end of the tunnel, forlorn and lost, we despair; desperate we trust our fractured souls to any ray of hope!

Hope then is like the weave to the fabric of our existence. The quintessential thread that holds us together. Having hope is like taking your next breath; breathing. Without hope; would it be fair to say that we essentially lose motivation, direction or even the will to survive?

Wouldn’t it be ideal if we never had to struggle with the hope-less days and forever remain positively charged? Always be hope-full.

Spirituality, Faith in a Higher Power, Trust in yourself, Belief that everything happens for the best… these are a few of the likely answers and (to each heir own) rightly so. Hope then is intangible, it needs to be felt. It’s a feeling. And luckily a feeling can be evoked.

Like a song that makes you sentimental, an old perfume that makes you nostalgic or a photograph that brings forth happy memories.

So how do you evoke hope?

Here are some ways to do just that.

• Ask yourself, "Are hope and possibilities through faith related things?”

If you answered "Yes," then focus on how to improve your possibilities and the faith to believe. What do you believe in and why? How can working on that make you stronger?

If your answer was "No," figure out the difference between the two – hope and possibilities. That may help you understand how to best use your faith to have hope and see possibilities.

• Look at the people around you. You can learn plenty from them.

Observe those that are making progress toward their goals, are centered, happy and optimistic -- do they do possibility thinking?

• Imagine waking up fresh every morning, truly feel hopeful. That is possibility thinking. Make time every day to imagine the day going well as you work to continue making progress toward possibilities. 
• Get training or coaching/counseling. Sometimes this needs a sincere commitment towards change and can be time consuming. Stay determined to improve. 
• Decide to take it as it comes... accept life events and work with them. Living in denial blocks hope. 
• Take risks, make shifts in your lifestyle if that seems like the way to make progress. 
• Redesign, rebuild -- a little at a time or start afresh, but don't you quit. 
• Relax and be refreshed; meditate/pray and find time for recreation to be able to keep going forward.

Most importantly; pause long enough to realize you probably already possess a seed of hope -- even if you don't realize it! You either feel hope – less or hope- full. Regardless of both eventualities; hope exists.

Look within – hope only needs to be evoked.

Notes from my desk:

Hope has been recognized as an important and central element of healing, and has been known by many other names, including optimism, the placebo effect, self-efficacy, and positive expectancies. A life coach inspires hope during treatment and change. Often equated with the particular promise of a cure, hope is better understood in its broader meanings that involve will, way, wish, action, and horizon. This richer and deeper context of hope is a vital perspective for the therapist. Helping clients to find and realize their sources of hope can be a process of waiting together for a clearer vision to emerge. It is important to remember that the task is not one of installing hope as much as evoking it, calling it forth from the client's own resources. In this sense, hope is not given as much as it is found. What therapists can give their clients is, at most, a lens or mirror through which their own vision is clarified.

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching works best for you.

www.tasneemkagalwalla.com