Top 3 tips to finding the right Life Coach/Therapist for YOU

Life Coaching/Therapy # Myth 5

How do I find the right one for me?

Once you have successfully unveiled the truth from all myths surrounding personal coaching and therapy it will lead you to the quintessential question of how do I find the right life coach/therapist for me?

In this final part of the series I share important tips about picking a  life coach, should you ever find yourself in need of one. Guess what; entering "find life coach" into your google search window results in about 124,000,000 results. There are a lot of coaches and therapists out there, but finding the right one for you is what makes all the difference.

Here are my top 3 tips on finding a life coach/therapist just right for you.

Research – Ask friends, family and use the web

Asking people you trust for recommendations is a great place to start. This could be a friend, family member, colleague or other health professionals. If someone you trust can make a referral, this can act as a pre-screening process. If you have a friend or family member who is a life coach or therapist, they would also be a good person to ask. If none of your friends or family are able to help then shop online. When shopping for life coaches look for individuals who are not selling themselves but rather seem to be trying to tell you about their work and their philosophy of working with clients.

Reach out - Make a connection

See if the life coach you are interested in offers a free (phone/in person) consultation. This provides an opportunity for you to ask questions and get a general “feel” of the coach/therapist. During this time you can ask important questions about their coaching interventions and treatment philosophy, how they have worked to help others and how they feel they can help you, or any other important questions you may have. Whether over the phone or in person; when you finish you may wish to assess how comfortable you felt, if you felt the coach was sincere, and if you feel you could be honest without feeling judged or criticized.

Here are some questions that you may ask:

• What is their training? Where did they go to school? Do they hold a current license to practice? Credentials aren’t everything but when asking this; you just want to make sure that their license is in good standing and their school/training accredited, not a one day workshop.

• What is their specialty? What is their experience? There are many different schools of thought in coaching and therapy and each practitioner approaches challenges differently based on their training and theoretical orientation. For example, Time Line Therapy^® (TLT^®) is treatment at an unconscious level and allows a client to surrender negative emotions linked to past experiences and transform their internal programming. While NLP is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy which believes all learning, behavior and change is unconscious. There are many different ways to approach the same issue, and while you may have no idea specifically what style you want or need, make sure that what the coach/therapist is proposing is something that sounds aligned to your personality and needs.

If you are seeing a life coach for a particular issue or goal, look for coaches who have experience in that or similar areas. Share a little about your presenting issue and see how the s/he responds. Experienced coaches explain how they can help, are able to give you a basic “road map,” to their approach and an indication of how you will know when sessions/therapy is finished.

If at the end of the consultation you choose to go ahead find out their fee structure and discuss if you need sliding scale or if you are planning on using insurance. If you like everything about them but their professional fees are too high for you, tell them that. Often times, they work out an installment plan or a pay as you go payment structure.

Relationship before resume – Notice how you feel

Don't be overly focused on finding someone with a long list of accomplishments. Just because a coach/therapist has written several books or has a busy public speaking schedule, it doesn't mean that they are the right fit for you. Research has found that the most effective ones build strong therapeutic relationships with their clients and have highly developed interpersonal skills including warmth, acceptance, empathy and the ability to accurately identify how a client is feeling. So give more weight to how you feel in the room with the coach/therapist, rather than their mantle of certificates and awards.

In conclusion; finding a life coach and/or therapist should not be a rushed decision. It should take a little bit of time and effort. By remaining open, honest, and willing to receive help, the process and outcomes can be very productive, beneficial as well as frequently life altering. As Milton Erickson would say; “A Therapist is like the weather; they provide a climate for change.”

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching works best for you.

www.tasneemkagalwalla.com

Click here for Therapy Myth #4 http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2015/01/life-coachingtherapy-myth-iv.html  

Click here for Therapy Myth #3 http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2015/01/therapy-myth-3.html  

Click here for Therapy Myth #2 http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2014/10/therapy-myth-2.html

Click here for Therapy Myth #1 http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2014_09_01_archive.html


Life CoachTherapistNLPTime Line Therapy®personal coaching

Do you believe a Life Coach or Therapist will fix you?

Life Coaching/Therapy Myth # 2

You are driving down the highway and all of a sudden your car stalls and swerves. You struggle to keep control and just about manage to get the car to come to a grinding halt. Yikes! Something is wrong with your car.

What’s next? When there is a problem with your car, you take it to a mechanic to get it fixed. You take it to an expert.

What about when you are feeling unwell? You go to the experts; therapists. But you are not a car and you cannot be fixed.

For therapy to work, you need to be an active participant, bringing your expertise about what life is like for you. The best solutions and insights will come from you, with the therapist acting more like a skilled and knowledgeable facilitator, guiding the process. Therapists do not fix you and they do not tell you what to do, how to walk, talk, think, and feel. And thank heavens for that! Can you imagine being dependent on a therapist to tell you how to live?

MYTH: Therapists are experts. They will fix me.

FACT: If only this were true! A qualified therapist is there to guide you through your challenges and therapy is an experience where you can feel relieved that you are not alone with your problems, there is a qualified and proficient individual who is there to guide and direct you to success.

Working with a therapist can be compared to working with a physical trainer. Although a trainer can provide an inspirational structure for change, helping the client to identify specific goals and suggest a regime to achieve them, it is always up to the client to make use of the tools provided.

Therapy can be similarly overwhelming at first. Initially you may not even notice the results. You wonder when you will see the new changed you. It is common to feel a bit worse before you feel better, but if you stick with the process, let go of old habits, and rework some perceptions, soon enough you have your mind and body functioning better than ever.

Therapy does require you to work and does not always provide an immediate sense of relief. You may confront feelings, thoughts, memories or personal insights that are uncomfortable, even painful. These experiences result in you wanting to make changes in your beliefs, values, habits or behaviours that may make you uncomfortable at first.  Yet with time and effort they will result in a happier healthier you.

In that sense therapy is a lot of hard work—a process more akin to going to the gym than going to the spa.

Ultimately the responsibility for change rests with you. The therapist will not provide you with a psychological blueprint of who you are. The therapist’s role is to provide a safe and comfortable environment along with a trusting relationship where questions can be addressed. Therapists will not often give advice, but rather, help you to understand the conflicts within you that make it difficult for you to make your own decisions. Of course there are a-ha moments and revelations during sessions, but for change to really happen and last, the majority of the work happens between (and after) sessions. With your therapist’s help, you work towards your goals, decide on a plan for growth and change, and then practice the new behaviors not only during the sessions but most importantly out in the real world.

In the long run, the goals of therapy are for people to develop more awareness, gain more self-insight, and make the most of their strengths and abilities thereby creating a new compelling future ahead.

People like:

• Taasha made the big move – quit her job and relocated across continents to move forward with the relationship of her dreams.

• Sarah is using the tools and techniques that she learned to close deals in her new Sales Manager role.

• Neil left a successful career with the aviation industry to follow his passion and is now a successful fashion photographer.

You could be next!

www.tasneemkagalwalla.com

As featured in http://whattherapy.com/therapy-myths-busted-part-2/

Click here for Therapy Myth/Part 1 http://tasneemkagalwalla.blogspot.com/2014/09/therpay-myth-1.html

Do you believe seeing a Life Coach or Therapist means you are weak?

Life Coaching/Therapy Myth #1

My journey in the world of self-improvement and therapy began years ago purely based on necessity. It is common for life coaches and therapists to have started out for themselves. It was true for me too.

I didn’t stumble upon it. Eager friends did not introduce it to me over a breezy afternoon. There was no bolt of lightning that struck me in a dream and told me this is what I was meant to do. No!

For me, it was not a magical initiation.

I was going through a rough patch in my life. It was as if I had lost control of how I chose to live. I was remote-controlled by my circumstances, feeling lonely, low, and lost in the maze of life.

Mental health challenges affect millions of people around the world. Unfortunately, misconceptions about therapy not only discourage people from seeking help but also contribute to the stigma surrounding these issues. Many people have a perception of what therapy is that does not quite match up to reality.

What is therapy to you? Is it lying on a couch with a box of issues and paying top dollars to talk to someone who does not seem to quite get it? Or more like a reality TV show where you are openly and publicly blamed and shamed, as you are confronted? If so, please think again. Therapy is not that.

In a myth-busting series to share facts and raise awareness, we will address some of the most common ones. The truth will set you free.

Myth 1# Therapy means I am weak, less of a man/woman, mentally ill or crazy.

Asking for help is not a weakness.

Think of these other scenarios. Are people “weak” when they pay for tuition classes to improve academically? What about when they are sick, maybe with a cough of a cold? Are they weak to see the GP? It is not a weakness to recognize that certain areas of our well-being are less than and we need professional help.

Researchers continue to find new links emphasizing the value of taking equal, if not more, care of mental health to ensure good physical health. This is often referred to as the mind-body health connection.

Emotional challenges can show up as physical symptoms. When we are physically unwell over prolonged periods of time, we may also develop emotional issues. Sadly, having emotional or cognitive concerns is often seen as a moral failing or character flaw.

Men are especially stereotyped, making it harder for them to seek help. Men don’t cry. Men don’t talk about feelings. Men need to have it all figured out.

Seeking help for your problems means you are taking action and being responsible. It is gender-neutral. Asking for help requires more courage than remaining passively stuck. Getting help is actually a sign of resourcefulness and strength.

Many people who seek therapy are “normal” people, people like you and me, suffering from very “normal” everyday life stressors. We all face difficult times, anxiety, and even depression at some point or another. People go to therapy to cope with school, careers, relationships, disorders, stress, and grief or just to figure out who they are and learn to live the life they desire, to live life to the fullest. Sometimes people see therapists to seek an outside perspective of a difficult situation.

Consider this – if therapy did not help better lives significantly, why would top athletes, successful executives, and celebrities have coaches, mentors, and other such professionals? Bottom line is that there is no shame in wanting a better life.

So one day, there I was, reluctantly attending a family get-together. As everyone enthusiastically smiled for the camera, I barely managed a feeble smile. A week later, when a copy of the group photo was mailed to us, I sat there looking at the person in the picture. I was stunned. Is that really me? I could not recognize who I had become. It was then that a small voice in my head said, “You are everything you choose to be.”

I chose that day to salvage myself and reclaim my life. And I did! I learned and tried every new theory, therapy, and home remedy suggested to me. Committed to the journey of self-discovery and improvement, I left no stone unturned. Today, I am here simply asking you this – are you everything you choose to be?

As featured in http://whattherapy.com/therapy-myth-1/

www.tasneemkagalwalla.com