Friday, April 10, 2015

5 steps to avoid an identity crisis

Identity Crisis ~ noun

a period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person's sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aims or role in society.

Who are you?

Have you ever been asked this question? Perhaps it may even have crossed your mind whilst self-introspecting. Most of us pause and reflect before answering questions on our identity. Some unable to come up with a response are left struggling for an appropriate reply. 

An unfulfilled state of mind constantly questions personal identity. I seem to have lost myself over the years, say some. I don’t know who I am anymore, say others. Over a period of time, prolonged inadequate feelings breed an identity crisis. 

Today many struggle with their true individuality. Different stages of life have varied impact on individualism. Children as they enter adolescence, men as they hit their 40’s, mothers after their children are self-sufficient or women as they go through menopause, the list is endless. 

During this phase individuals have trouble taking ownership for the worthy and capable things they do too. In their minds their success and accomplishments somehow come from sources outside of themselves. They would rather believe that it was a one-time stroke of luck, a mistake or an accident that just worked out in their favor, or maybe they were just in the right place at the right time. What this kind of thinking does is to set them up to doubt that they can be successful or achieve the next time around since they haven’t owned it the first time. 

To the outside world they appear unharmed, going about their normal lives with routine ease. When inside their heads they live in a state of continual unease. Un-addressed this condition can trigger anxiety attacks and/or depression.

How then can you avoid falling trap to a state of mind which is unhealthy and regressive. How can you encourage thoughts that drive you to create and recreate a personality which constantly evolves?

Here’s how. 

Begin by listing some specific qualities or capacities that you believe are underdeveloped, dormant or even nonexistent; but ones you want to grow and become   visible.

For each one, envision what it would look like if you did embody that quality in your daily life. Use examples for each, as much as possible. It can help to imagine   seeing your evolved self as though a character in a movie.

Thereafter describe the totality of that broadened, expanded picture of your evolved self by answering the following.

If you looked up your name in the dictionary today what would it say?

If someone asked someone who knew you well who you are today what would they say?

If you were to have an identity card that represented who you truly are – what would be on it and what would you choose to leave off?

Take the time to think through your responses. Write down everything, however small and inconsequential it may seem or however big and bizarre it may sound. Sleep over it or take a couple of days to give it your best. 

Review your replies thereafter and discover a pattern of thoughts and qualities emerging through your answers. There in those candid words and phrases lies your true authentic self. 

In conclusion, we all contain the power to reinvent ourselves and create a new, empowered identity that constantly expands what is possible in our lives. 

So go ahead, tell me…Who are you?

Contact Tasneem Kagalwalla for more information on how Life Coaching works best to help overcome an identity crisis and augment optimum personality development

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