Wednesday, October 30, 2013

How strong is strong enough?

Monday morning, her husband left for work promptly at nine. The house became deafeningly silent. Almost like time had been crucified over the hands of the clock. The walls bore witness to this and stood still, as if in a spell. The only stirring came from a far corner of the house. There lay ten neatly packed cartons and suitcases. Her belongings…they stood bursting with stories in a corner. Those which had been traveled the long journey over the Atlantic to reach here before she did.

There were treasures so rare inside that she was afraid removing them would damage their significance. She sat staring at them. ….”Where should I begin”, she said helplessly. Overwhelmed, it was as though someone had pulled of the lid to a reservoir of memories.  

She meticulously hung up her clothes. Among them she found a dress she had worn to her farewell party. It still lingered with the scent of close ones who hugged her goodbye. “Get over it… now, please!” She said out aloud. As she rummaged through her handbags she found old receipts and left over change inside pockets from a lunch at her favorite restaurant with her favorite people. In others there were crumpled grocery lists of many weekend get-together’s. There were flip flops inside which still had sand underneath them. As though telling her story of footsteps walked and footprints left behind. Bag after bag, trinkets, artifacts, books, recommendation letters and degrees of achievement, all had their own unique story. Neatly tucked away was a note from a dear friend which read, “A lifetime would not be enough to tell you what you mean to me, all I can say is you take with you all the mad mornings and lazy afternoons, all the chilled out evenings and all the….. She could read no more through the glaze in her eyes. She quickly folded the paper and placed it with her jewels in a carved wooden box.
She let out a deep sigh as she leaned over a cushion. It was as though that was just the shoulder she needed….She surrendered to the wave of emotion within as she wept out loud. Her tears, like a tsunami, destroyed the weave of the fabric. Weighed down, she reached over to her phone. As she dialed in on a friend she just knew that regardless of the odd hour, the call would be answered and she would be heard. As she poured her isolated heart out, the walls of the house shook as though resonating with her spirit.

Eventually having vented, she walked out onto the porch for a breath of fresh air and took a deep breath. It felt good. She sat there a while as she waited for her husband to come home.
There was an intense calm around her as she stepped back in. Peacefully, she brought out her choicest candles and lit several of them all around her. The shadows of their bright yellow flames cast a spell on the walls. Or broke it?! She really couldn’t tell. For in this moment the walls came alive with magical serenity as they took their first breath of redemption!

Notes from my desk: Being strong and brave are important qualities of character. Being strong and brave includes being vulnerable though. Being vulnerable is an integral part of being human. Face it! Embrace it! Bottling emotions is harmful for the mind, body and soul. Allow yourself to feel emotion.  And gather the courage to show it. Allow yourself to occasionally let go and let it out. Cry. Scream into a pillow if you like. Or share with a loved one. Today I chose to do all three.