Read this introspective article on your family.
A family is one entity with many parts working together to
create something larger. Each part has a significant role to play in how well
the family will function as a whole. It simply means that each one has a
healthy balance of the mind, body and soul, resulting in an overall state of
well-being. Family Wellness then is a way to stress healthy family lifestyles
and habits. And the healthier each individual family is, the healthier an
entire community can be.
By focusing on the ingredients and most important aspects of family life I hope that you find solutions to care about your family through this 5 part series based on inspiring family wellness .
So today, stop and reflect on these questions:
·
Does it feel good to live in your family right
now?
· Do you feel you are living with friends, people you like and trust and who like and trust you?
· Is it fun and exciting to be a member of your family?
Togetherness is wellness.
By focusing on the ingredients and most important aspects of family life I hope that you find solutions to care about your family through this 5 part series based on inspiring family wellness .
The ingredient:
In an ideal scenario, each human being is a person who understands, values and
develops his body, finding it beautiful and useful; a person who is real and
honest to and about him/herself and others; a person who is willing to take
risks, to be creative, to manifest competence, to change when the situation
calls for it, and to find ways to accommodate what is new and different,
keeping the part of the old that is still useful and discarding what is not.
When you add all this up, you have a physically healthy, mentally alert,
feeling, loving, playful, authentic, creative, productive human being, one who
can stand on his/her own two feet, who can love deeply and fight fairly and
effectively, who can be on equally good terms with both his/her tenderness and
his/her toughness, know the difference between them and therefore strive
effectively to achieve his/her goals.
The family is the “factory” where this kind of (ingredient) person is made.
The aspects: No
matter what kind of problem a family could have – whether it’s a wicked mother
in law, a nagging wife, an unfaithful husband, a son who no longer cares or an
obnoxious daughter – whatever the issue these four key aspects are vital to
gauge your family wellness.
1.
Self-worth: the feelings and ideas
one has about themselves.
2.
Communication: the different ways
people reach out to make meaning with each other.
3.
Family
system: the rules people use for how they should feel and act.
4.
Link to society: the way people
relate to other people outside the family.
To relieve any issues in a family and its resulting pain and
anguish, a way to change these key factors has to be found.
Commonly, the following has been observed of troubled
families’ v/s an untroubled nurturing family:
Troubled Families
|
Untroubled Families
|
Self-worth is low
|
Self-worth is high
|
Communication is indirect, vague and not really honest
|
Communication is direct, clear, specific and honest
|
Rules are rigid, inhuman, nonnegotiable and everlasting
|
Rules are flexible, human, appropriate and subject to change
|
Linking to society is closed, always trying to please and/or blaming
|
Linking to society is open and hopeful
|
· Do you feel you are living with friends, people you like and trust and who like and trust you?
· Is it fun and exciting to be a member of your family?
If you answered yes to these three questions, bravo! You can
pat yourself on the back and leave this page now. If your answer is ‘no’ or ‘not often’, you likely live in a
family that is in some way or somewhat troubled. You’d probably benefit if you
read on!
The solution: The key to happiness then lies in
crossing the bridge from being a distressed family to one that is nurturing and
caring. Ask and address the following questions with your family in all
honesty:
·
Every person has a feeling of worth, positive or
negative; the question is – Which is it?
·
Every person communicates; the question is – How and what happens as a result?
·
Every person follows rules; the question is – What kind and how well do they work for you?
·
Every person is linked to society; the question
is – How and what are the results?
There are so many different ways to work towards driving this
change. Choose to be creative and take the time to make this an interesting and
exciting time for your family. Involve every member. You could even go to a
park or an environment which encourages each individual to share and feel that
their contribution matters and is truly valued. Have a go at answering the
above questions individually and then share as a family unit. Identify the gaps
and how you can help each other create a healthy family life. Also specifically
communicate the kind of help you are looking for as each of us are programmed
differently; (metaphorically speaking) you may want more of a listening ear
rather than a helping hand.
In conclusion, discover how you are operating in your family
as an individual and as a collective unit.
Generate and act upon ideas on how you can bring about change in order
to reduce problems and increase the vitality and joy you can find with each
other.
The more we think about family wellness in terms of “we”
then we can find our individual place in life too. For; “When ‘i’ is replaced
by ‘we’ then even ‘illness’ becomes ‘wellness’!” Togetherness is wellness.
Credits:
Based on the research of famous American author and renowned family therapist,
Virginia Satir.
www.tasneemkagalwalla.com
www.tasneemkagalwalla.com
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