Here's my story
So I get these questions all the time from clients. How do I attract my soul mate? How do I know if s/he is the one? How can I improve the chances of meeting my Mr/s Right?
The answer is simple. Ascertain your relationship
history. Elicit your values. Clear out any limiting beliefs and identify your
deep love strategy, release any negative emotions around past experiences, test,
and future pace. Set smart goals into your Time Line. Finish with a Hypnotic Induction and Voila! There you are; you have your Prince/ess Charming knocking
at your door and into your life.
I know…That’s a whole lot of coaching jargon. I also know
that these and many other relationship coaching techniques bring about
astoundingly successful results. However; not all of us have the same resources
at our disposal. That does not mean that your relationship status shall never
change. As is said; there are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful
states. Snap out of your ‘I’m so lonely, no one loves me’ state. Get rid of the
‘I don’t want another bad relationship’ saga. What if; you had within your
power, ways in which to jump start your love and romance journey into the right
direction? Can you imagine the possibility of being able to attract your ideal
partner into your life?
Here’s my story in 3 steps.
Step 1: I visualized
and used affirmations
Visualizations are simply mental rehearsals. What you
focus on, you attract. Therefore make it a habit to focus daily on what you
want. Create images in your mind of being in an ideal relationship. Repeat
these images over and over again. I suggest you practice this technique for 10-15
minutes each day. In your practice, you use your imagination to see yourself
meeting the best man/woman, having a healthy relationship, getting
married—whatever the goal is that you wish to manifest. The key to remember is
to always visualize as if you already have the relationship you want. This is a
mental trick. You don’t hope you’ll achieve it, or build confidence that
someday it will happen. No, with visualizing you “live and feel it” as if it is
happening to you now. On one level this may just be a mental trick, but here is
an important truth to understand. The subconscious mind cannot distinguish
between what is real and what is imagined. Your subconscious will act upon the
images you create within, regardless of whether those images reflect your
current reality or not.
Affirmations on the other hand are you being in conscious
control of your thoughts. They are short, powerful statements phrased in the
present tense. When you say them or think them or even hear them, they become
the thoughts that create your reality. Here’s an excerpt from the affirmation I
had created. “My husband is loving and loyal, good looking and humorous,
ambitious and trustworthy, functions out of integrity and has common values as
mine. At home and with each other we continue to find endless peace of mind,
security and an insatiable desire to spend our time and lives together
forever.” I visualized this along
with every other little detail that I could get my mind to imagine, from what
he’d say to me when we first met, how he’d propose, how our relationship would
unfold. I printed and pasted this inside my closet and stuck a copy of it on
the mirror where I brush my teeth, first thing in the morning and last thing at
night. So every time I woke up, got dressed and went to bed, consciously and subconsciously
it was in my head.
Tip: Repeat your affirmations every morning and night for
a month and they will become an automatic part of your thinking... woven into
the very fabric of your being.
Step 2: I let go of
attachments
Often we get attached to our ideologies and expect that
events should unfold without having to create too many or any shifts at all in
our current pattern of existence. We get attached to jobs, places, things, friends
and family. So much so that even if even if Cupid himself was on his/er knees right
in front of you, you wouldn’t notice. After all, this doesn’t fit into your
current cycle of life. Being with this individual could mean having to leave
behind all that you’re familiar with and walk into the unknown. The fear of
uncertainty and getting out of your existing comfort zone is often far too
daunting a task. So we continue to blame the Universe/God for not bringing
forth that which we desire. And hence many prospective alliances go unnoticed or
un-persevered because they did not conform to our ‘has to be like this’ mindset.
I urge you to keep an open mind. Change is the only
constant of life. Chance it. All things said, if it feels right, take the risk.
I did.
Step 3: I gave it
my best
Real relationships take effort, time and commitment. A
happy relationship doesn’t just happen because two people love each other very
much, great relationships happen because not only do two people love each other
very much, they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of
time and energy into building a happy relationship – day after day. Everyday. The
early stages (after you pass the delirium of infatuation) is where the real
work begins. That work is about committed listening, letting go of control,
practicing vulnerability, overcoming resistance to change, being honest, even
in the face of fear, and focusing on your own self rather than trying to change
your partner. Like mastering any other new skill, it takes a lot to hang in
there and muddle through the demanding times. The effort required is sometimes
great and the challenge can be overwhelming, so much so that many conclude that
it’s not worth it or that they don’t have the stamina and perseverance to work
forever at this level. The truth is that some degree of effort is inevitable in
most relationships. However once both partners figure out their happy equation
of coexistence and synergy, the pressure eases off. Effort comes about more
naturally, more easily.
If you’re the kind to run a 100 meters dash in the
opposite direction at the very onset of any kind of disagreement or
misunderstanding, I encourage you to act differently. Stick it out. Sort it
out. Try. Give it your best. Will you?
Yes, I said then. It has been magical ever since.
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