I AM WORTHY

Yes. I got played.
i was nine
i watched my dad
get way out of line
shhh! be quiet, he said
don’t tell mum
it’s our little secret
come here, its fine.

Yes. I got played.
i was ten
my uncle thought
it was ok by then.

Yes. I got played.
i was eleven
he was my brother’s friend
i was used to it by then.

Yes. I got played.
i was twelve
at a school camp
i felt it was my fault by then.

Yes. I got played.
time and again
until i didn’t know
what love actually meant
so when i met him
The One:
who made me feel somewhat sane
i did what i knew best
i jumped straight into bed with him
he said i was fast
he labelled me cheap
i didn’t know what he meant
all I wanted, was to please him.

Years went by;
relationships were just not my scene
all the men went out
just as quickly as they came in.

Until i believed love is not for me
depression came; it drowned me
unworthiness; it found me
desperate i went
where i had long never been
i had to find that child within
before she died, without me.

There she was, frail
with tears that bled
she looked at me and said
why?
why have you always blamed me?
I was not at fault, it was never me.

Trust me; I am worthy.

We both broke down
I said, I am so sorry
I love you, please come hug me
God; He was there then
I could feel Him
He held me…
The whole me.

This one's in voice of the fight against child abuse. It is not an actual account of the author's life.

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