Tuesday, April 1, 2014

children SEE. children DO.

Make your influence positive:

Early in life, children are like little mirrors, reflecting everything that happens in their environment.
When your child is a baby, you notice that he copies everything you do. He smiles when you smile. He learns to laugh at things that you find funny. He wants to play with your smart phone because he sees you constantly with it. The first words could most likely be those you repeatedly use with your child though your baby doesn't learn from words alone. Most of what he learns comes from the things you do. That's because you are training him to live in this world and you don't live on words, but on actions.

Your children will never learn best from getting told or punished and/or rewarded all of the time. They need to see what you do when you wake up in the morning. How you brush your teeth, what you eat for breakfast, how you approach the coming day. They need to see what you do during the weekends, how you choose to spend your time, how you talk to your fellow man, how you clean up after your projects. They need to see what you do with the family, how you treat your spouse, how you help someone out, how you show someone that you love them.
When you lead by example:

It's not a matter of what you say.
It's a matter of what you do.

When they start to become independent, they may rebel a little. That's normal because they're trying to be their own person. But if you've already shown them and continue to show them the way you live, then they will sooner or later choose to live that way too.
It's more than just what you do; it's a matter of what you train them to do.

You will have to teach them day in and day out, but it's worth it. The one day that you're too tired to go through the training is the day you'll see your efforts bear fruit. Your children will be excited to do things on their own, screaming, "I know how to do it, Mommy/Daddy!”
It's what you allow them to do.

Allow them to be a part of your daily activities because those activities are life. And you are trying to teach them how to live, right?
You will never be a perfect example to your children.

Your children idolize you. They think you are perfect even when you're not. Sometimes they learn that you aren't perfect but nobody else is their parent so they continue to idolize you. They don't live with the doublethink for long though. Just because you are their ultimate authority does not mean that you deserve to be right when you're wrong. When you lead by example, you have to tell your children when you've done them wrong. Not only will you be soothing their wounds, you will be gradually taking yourself down from the pedestal they put you on, instead of your flaws coming as one big shock to them. You will also, without realizing it, be teaching them how to empathize and how to apologize.
From the moment you and your children wake up, you're already teaching them something. The hobbies and occupations you have affect them. How you spend your time, the tone of voice in which you speak, the type of people you have visiting, how much television you watch, all teach them something. When it comes to your children, leading by example means "the way you live is the way they will live."


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